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Tuesday, 27 October 2009

# 534 - Thoughts about love

This is a transcript of what I wrote in my notebook last night.

I can't sleep, so I was reading Princess Diaries 2. It had me shaking with confined laughter. It's catching and entertaining. I didn't want to put it down. "Lea, you have to sleep," I told myself and got up to turn off the light in the kitchen. Thinking about the book, I had just put down, I was thinking to myself: "I want to write." It had inspired me. So here I am, scribbling in the nearest notebook available. I'm tired. It's like Tuesday 1.am. I should sleep!

Mia's feelings about Michael reminds me of what it was like to be in love with someone, who you thought was somehow above you. To be in love with someone you were not going out with. It's a curious well known feeling, that I haven't been it touch with since over a year. It's so very different from being in love with your boyfriend, which is a close-up love, the other being a somewhat distant, unreciprocated love. But a love all the same.

The not-going-out love will eventually drive you nuts at the same time as it makes you happy, which I suppose is what being in love does. Not sure what kind of happy I mean, though.

My friend, who was then going out with the guy she is now married to, told me I would find a boyfriend the day I stopped looking for one. I knew she was right.

And I prayed (when I prayed), "God, I think I understand, that you want me to be ready for this. That I have to learn to get along on my own first. That I should trust, it will come in due time. That I also have to learn to love myself. That I need to think through, what it is, that I would leave behind. But I think I got the lesson now. I am ready. Please send me my boyfriend."

And here I am, with my boyfriend, and we love each other. Did I really learn the lesson? I hope so. At the time, I know I thought, that I had been alone for long enough. It might seem, that I had.

I beseech you, daughters of Jerusalem, do not wake up love, before it wants to on its own! Learn what lessons you best can. God will send you the love you need, when you are ready for it.

I hope that made sense to someone.

Thursday, 17 September 2009

# 533

We went through with our presentation even though half of our group were missing due to sickness or children's sickness. It went okay. Not very well, but okay. The good thing is, that we will not have to make presentations of the next two assignments. That was my main object with going through with the presentation today.

Now I have four lessons of KLM (Christianity, Life-orientation and Citizenship) before the weekend begins. Well, that means, I have some reading to do tomorrow, but I'll get it done soon enough. And no lessons. I can stay at home to read :D And then tomorrow evening Kristian and I are going out, because we are celebrating our one year anniversary as a couple <3. I am looking very much forward to that. It's been a long time since we last went out to do something, like dinner or the movies. Kristian has taken the initiative on this one, so I don't have to do any planning, I am just waiting to see, what he comes up with. It's nothing big I think, but will be all the more pleasant for that.

I got a letter from the TV lincence office yesterday. I have to pay the licence, and just now, when I have such a huge minus in my account. Grumbles. Luckily there was a monthly payment option.

I am thinking about NaNoWriMo these days. I have such a lot going on, and I even have to go into practical training for a week in mid-November. But I still want to participate, even though I may not win this year. I have such a good plan for the 2009 novel...

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

# 532

Education is still okay. That means, I like the subject. But the way our schedule has been organized (and re-organized), has been very chaotic. Yesterday I spent eight hours at the place, without really learning anything. That was, well, not a very motivating experience. We have been divided into study groups, and on thursday, each group has to make a 10 minute presentation on the same subject! Same questions and all. The seventh group to present the same thing, must feel really stupid. I don't want to do this!!

Well, on other news, I got a new gamer PC. I built it myself - applauses to me. It's working quite well except for one thing: It keeps rebooting without being asked. It's really annoying when I'm in the middle of something, and the screen just goes black. And I am not sure what to do about it. That's the downside of building your own PC. You can't just take it down to the store, where you bought it and say "fix it."

I am playing Sacred 2. I like it. Graphics are pretty good. There is a little too many game-creator-jokes in the game, I think. You sort of have to be in the mood for it, it's not so "realistic", if you know what I mean. Eesh, I am having trouble expressing myself today! My first character is a dryad, who I named Deeanna. She is level 13 now. Yesterday I found a really nice bow. There is a new type of weapons too, throwing stars - nice! The game design is really beautiful. In the big city, which I can't remember the name of right now, I saw a house, which I would have loved to live in. It pained me, that it wasn't real...

On Sunday Kristian and I went to my uncle's 70th birthday party. He held it in a small local airport, because he owns parts in two little planes. During the party, guests were invited to a flight in the little 4-person planes. It's a lot of fun to fly in this type of plane. It was the second time I tried it in my life. Kristian tried it for the first time, and he was really excited about it. I understand that :)

Thursday, 03 September 2009

# 531 - UCL

The first few days here at the teachers' college has been okay. There has been an awful lot of social event, which I haven't really been geared for, and therefore have avoided as much as possible. It is not that the other people are not nice, it is just that I feel like I am doing this for the 100th time, you know, starting at a new place. And I just sort of want to get on with the serious stuff.

At the moment I am at school, but our teacher has not shown up. This is the second time that has happened within the first two days. Now a message is coming in, our teacher is away and we have the rest of the day off. So, see you later :)

Monday, 17 August 2009

# 530 - A few snapshots of everyday life

This is Findus, the cat that often comes to visit me. I am not allowed to keep a cat in my otherwise perfect apartment, so I invite Findus in for a some goodies and a nap in my wicker chair whenever he comes around. At first I thought he might be a stray, and was on the verge of keeping him, but then did a little investigation and found out, that his owners live just two streets from here. And they are okay with me taking him in from time to time. He really is a cute little guy, who loves to be petted.

And here am I, cooking in my small, but non-shared kitchen :D

And here is Kristian, studying for his Chemistry B-level to gain access to university. He is borrowing my computer.